If only you knew

it hurts so badly,
you leave me alone
without you
I smile
I am fine
swallowing the hurt
its all in my mind
my heart yearns
my mind races
why is it so
why do I feel this angst
this hurt
this confusion
is it me
am i lost
what more do I need
I have it all
but do I
when will this sadness go
when will I feel okay
when will I laugh again
perhaps it is me
the sadness is back
I am lost
I am stuck
I try to breathe
I try to see the light inside
I ache
back here again
back to the sadness
back to the anger
back to the emptiness
if only you knew....